she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
accomplished twins. life is a go
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
