then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
You pole danced in your parka.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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