I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
