Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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