ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
