the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
