im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
