i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Drunk walkin through police station. America
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
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