Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
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