Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
