it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize