is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
