If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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