i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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