Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
