My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
