just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
