remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
