there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
