can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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