In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
it's great music for shaving your balls
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
