She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
