What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
