I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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