I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
