How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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