Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
