I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
