My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
