I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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