are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i just google imaged poop.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Randomize
