All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
