Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
