the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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