We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
