What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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