Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
