i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
