I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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