Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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