yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
