My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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