normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
