i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
