Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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