I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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