grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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