That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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