Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
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