I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Just invented taco cereal.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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